Exciting times!

When you are eight years old…

Life is exciting….

Life is fun….

Life is full of boundless opportunities….

That’s the way it should be, that’s what childhood is all about. I remember coming to the realisation in my teens that the world may not be as kind as I had originally thought.¬†As your general awareness grows your perception of the world and the people in it changes. That’s why we often long to relive our childhood. We all want to be free from worry, to be care free.

When you have ADHD the world is even more exciting than it may be for a child of a similar age – in his eyes he’s invincible, he lives in the moment.

So this weekend we have had lots of excitement in our house! It’s Halloween, a chance to dress up as something scary and fill up on sugar….and that’s just me ūüôā The thought of Halloween has Bam bouncing around the house and everywhere else, eyes filled with excitement, running everywhere with¬†limitless amounts of energy.

Don’t get me wrong it’s exhausting for us but with the same token I love watching him, wishing I had some of his energy, wishing our life was filled with excitement from morning to night. What a way to live, maybe I should take a leaf out of his book and embrace all the good things in life with renewed energy.

So as the most exciting time of the year approaches – don’t worry I won’t mention the ‘C’ word yet, our house prepares for a few weeks of full on excitement. Over the years I’ve learnt that I most certainly can’t beat him (he has youth on his side when it comes to energy) so this year I will definitely be joining him! Let the preparations begin….jingle bells, jingle bells

santa claus singing clipart

Letting go!

DSC00441So my big boy is getting older, he’s 8 and he’s rapidly becoming more and more independent. I know all parents grapple with making decisions about the right time to let their child walk out of school on their own or let them stay overnight with somebody other than family.

So this weekend is cub camp, he’s been before but only for one night and this time it’s two nights…! I’ll be honest, if was up to me I wouldn’t let him go, I want him at home with me where I know he is safe. Bam has epilepsy, it’s controlled with medication but it just makes me worry about him that bit more. Epilepsy is a serious condition and you never really know when the medication isn’t going to work any more therefore making him susceptible to seizures.

Of course I have told the cub leaders that he must be watched if he’s climbing up high or near water. They know he needs to take his medication twice a day but I know no one could love him as much as I do, will they look after him in the same way that I would?

I know this is just the start of Bam entering independence, I need to help him learn about epilepsy so he can take care of himself, so he can make other people aware of his condition and let them know when he’s not feeling too well. It’s tough, I don’t want him to be held back by his condition, I want him to be free to do everything that he wants to do but I also want him to be careful.

People say children get easier as they grow up, I really don’t think that’s the case, I think the challenges just change…..! Have fun this weekend Bam, stay safe, can’t wait for my cuddle with my muddy, smelly, happy boy on Sunday afternoon xxx

The goodbye kiss!

Nothing really prepares you for your baby, the youngest baby in your nest starting school. So that moment when my baby started school was an emotional one…I can honestly say I really didn’t want him to go!

Why? I knew he would be absolutely fine. He’s such a bright little chap and although not keen to go to school (he prefers playing with his mates) he’s actually fine about it.

But when I put the school uniform on him to check it fitted I had a lump in my throat and was holding back the tears. How did his baby years fly by this quickly? I’m not ready for this!

So when the his first day arrived I wasn’t sure how I would feel. I knew it wasn’t about me, it’s about my baby, my baby taking his first step into independence. Bam, my eldest was running around the house with excitement, his brother was finally going to school which in his eyes meant he would no longer miss out on activities when his brother was at home and he was at school. It was now an even playing field.

So with uniform on, we headed off to school…only til 11.50am but that was long enough for me. He headed into the classroom with a confident stride listening to the teacher explaining what he needed to do. Then it came to the all important first goodbye. Don’t worry I didn’t cry – no chance for that! He literally looked at us and said ‘bye’. Bye, that’s it!¬†kiss

And every day since the same has continued, no kisses, just bye. On one day I even explained at age 4 it’s the law, you have to give Mummy a kiss goodbye, to which he answered ‘no it’s not Mum’

Ok, ok, you’ve developed some small wings, go and have loads of fun sweetheart.

Top ten tips for living in a household of boys……..

ladsI’m lucky enough to share my home with 3 boys, one 4 year old, one 8 year old and one 41 year old. Here’s my top tips on living with a household of boys……

1. Remember to check the toilet for signs of boys every time you visit the loo. This is essential as it’s not pleasant to find you are sitting on a wet toilet seat or in extreme cases find that you have a wet foot when you visit the loo….ewwww! Yes my foot was immersed in an unpleasant puddle the other day.
2. Adjust your accepted level of noise. Boys are noisy, indoors and outdoors, FACT!
3. Purchase lots of cleaning products for your bathroom (see point 1) They attract mud everyday, it’s drawn to them, there will always be a ring of dirt and grime around your bath following every bath time session.
4. Learn about football. With more than one boy in the house it is very likely that football will form a significant part of the conversation within your household. Whose the best player, the best teams etc. There’s supposed to be a football season but I have learnt over the years that this is just a rumour – football is in our lives all year round!
5. Be prepared to share your house with lego as well as your boys…lego is everywhere, in your hoover, in your car, in your shoes, in every room of the house. There’s always a piece of lego lurking!
6. Flatulence is funny, it’s funny whether you are a boy of 4 or a boy of 41! Think nothing of 3 boys rolling around with laughter due to a bottom burp!
7. Your food shopping bill will¬†increase dramatically. They eat and eat and eat…..the phrase ‘Mum I’m hungry’ is used frequently throughout the day.
8.Your washing machine will be on constantly. It amazing how they can be in clean clothes and then 30 seconds later look like you have dragged a t-shirt from their dirty washing basket.
9. Let them out once a day. They need to burn energy, they need fresh air. Spending a day at home isn’t an option, they need to be free to run for a good period of time per day.
10. Conversation is limited ‘good day at school?’ normally returns the response ‘yep’. Hmmm, not leaving me much to go on there boys!

But of course I wouldn’t be without any of them. Since the birth of my boys I have done things I never thought I would do from getting back on a bike after 10 year to going to a football match (and really enjoyed it, shh!) and I always have an opinion on whether my bum does indeed look big or not in that new outfit. Life has changed for me and I love it, thanks boys! xxx

The summer hols have landed…………..!!

SONY DSCThe summer holidays have officially landed in our house….I love having my boys at home, sharing precious moments that will become fond memories when they (and indeed I) are older.

However, when Bam is home, it means 24/7 entertainment. OK, so I’m exaggerating, he does sleep, but only for about 7 of those hours….How do you keep a child with attention deficit entertained in the holidays? Any tips that don’t require me burning out would be appreciated!?

After one day of the holidays which included a trip to the theatre, the park, swimming and dentist, I’m feeling tired….but he’s got more energy than ever….the thought of 6 weeks off from school creating additional excitement.

Hmmm, might need to take a week off work in September to recover!

Love at flower sight!

I’m sure everyone can relate to that scenario where you may have just spent a little bit too much time enjoying a rare cuppa?! Meaning you have to quickly rush your little one out of the door otherwise you’ll be late for something. So on sport’s day Moo and I have a spare hour as preschool was starting slightly later. I decided to use the time wisely and do all of the housework, ironing etc!! Hmm, that was in the plan in my head in reality I actually sat down with a cuppa.

So I left it a tiny bit too late to leave but still had just enough time to spare. I usher Moo out the door when I spot a van blocking our drive. Why does that always happen? The amount of times I get blocked by the dustbin vehicles etc when I really need those extra precious minutes. This is my penance for not doing the housework!

This time though, it was a good obstruction, I realised this when the driver got out holding a lovely bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates. Moo is observing this from the driveway, looking very thoughtful and then very composed says ¬†‘Mummy, is that man in love with you?’

It did make me chuckle! Don’t you just love how children’s minds work?¬†Oh and just for clarification, the flowers were from my lovely hubby not from the driver of the garden centre van…

Preparing for battle…

Tonight I’m preparing for battle or at least that’s how it feels. Any parent understands that sometimes you have to go into battle for your child. In whatever shape or form that takes, it’s inevitable that it WILL happen. I’m a fairly quiet person that tends to put other people’s happiness before my own therefore avoiding confrontation (not always the best approach but a difficult habit to change). So when I need to confront an issue for my child I find it hard but it doesn’t put me off…

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Having a child with special needs means I have quite a few battles to fight. From being persistent when trying to get hold of a doctor to speaking to the school about the support he needs. Tomorrow is the latter – I am attending a meeting with the school nurse and two other members of staff to discuss Bam’s progress.

Why does it feel like a battle? I think it’s because nobody knows him like I do – I know that boy inside out. Everyone else sees a slightly different side to him making it really difficult for us to reach a mutual agreement on the support he needs. So it’s up to me to make sure he gets what he needs so he can be the best that he can be…..Tomorrow let the force be with me……

Erm, not very good for the environment?

On a bright sunny, yes sunny, day we head to a beautiful country village with some friends. We had a lovely day with the children running through fields, rolling down hills and paddling in streams.

Following a lovely picnic, we head to the gorgeous village pub for a drink (not an alcoholic one, although later you’ll wonder if I indulged in the evening)

The pub garden had a lovely tree house, swings and a climbing frame. The boys were happy playing and we were happy chatting and enjoying the sunshine, bliss.

Then the pub garden went quiet and one of the children came running over to me saying ‘look at Bam’ For a split second I thought, no, I don’t want to look at him, what could he be doing!?

So I turn around to find that he is hanging from the outside of the tree house. Yes, he had decided to climb over the tree house terrace and was now proclaiming how he was going to jump.

I ran over to the tree house feeling the eyes of the people in the pub garden on my back. AArrghhh, how am I going to get him down? It’s high, he could really hurt himself. So I try to negotiate with him, explain that he’ll hurt himself……Inside though I’m feeling quietly confident that he won’t jump, the rest of the Mums in the pub garden will silently praise me and I’ll walk away with a slightly smug look on my face!

Then he jumps, yes, there is a gasp around the pub garden. Can I catch him? No, of course not, he’s about 25kgs! As he lands to the floor, I look at him in despair asking if he’s ok. He’s ok, thankfully, but my slightly smug look isn’t happening – instead my head is down, his hand in mine and we head off to a quiet area of the garden.

He explains he’s ok, but bit his tongue on the way down. Well that was the least of his worries, he could have broken both of his legs!! So I sit him down and very calmly say ‘Bam, why do you think Mum is cross’ and he very calmly replies ‘cos it’s not good for the environment!’ Hmmm, where do I go from here?

ADHD medication – friend or foe?

SONY DSCHow do you go about making the really difficult decision about whether or not to put your son on ADHD medication?

It’s something that we have grappled with for a long time (over a year) Doctors at the hospital have recommended it a few times but we have confidently declined. It feels like admitting defeat, does it mean we can’t cope as parents?

Then a lovely nurse at the hospital made us think about things differently and totally changed our perspective on things. Up until now we were thinking, well we can manage and he’s managing at school so why would we go down the medication route?

Then she made us think about it from a different perspective. She said it’s very likely he’s struggling at school to listen. He’s probably fighting every day to be good at school. So we asked him. He told us how he did have to try really really hard to listen and be a good boy. He told us how he misses out on learning things because he simply doesn’t hear the teacher. Every day is a struggle for him…Does this mean we can make his school life easier?

So with a heavy heart we¬†have decided to give it a trial. Could this be what he needs to be the best that he can be at school? Will it change him in other ways? Will his bubbling personality change? All questions we’ll have to wait to find out the answer to. We love you Bam and want the very best for you xxx

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