Act of kindness at the top of a lighthouse

Living with a child with ADHD inevitably brings the odd challenge along the way…When those challenges arise the behaviour and reactions of those around you can make a difficult situation better or worse

Yesterday I was lucky to be in the company of a very lovely Nan! Here’s what happened.

We were in Plymouth visiting the beautiful lighthouse. The boys wanted to climb to the top – so did I! Hubby decided to stay at the bottom while we trekked up the 93 steps.

I spoke to Bam about how it was important he was sensible and listened while we climbed the tower. ‘Yes Mum, I promise, I’ll listen’

So we started our journey up the lighthouse. Side note – it’s really beautiful and very interesting. The beds they used to sleep in were really tiny and Mops was very intrigued about how they managed to get the beds up the tower! Sorry no photo as I was too busy chasing Bam up the tower!

We reached the top of the tower – the lantern. It was enclosed with windows. Bam was very excited and he started climbing. So I asked him to stop quite a few times but he just wasn’t able to take my instructions on board. So I felt that it wasn’t safe for him to go onto the outdoor viewing gallery. I was worried about him climbing.

I explained to Bam that I didn’t feel comfortable with him going outside. This of course caused a meltdown with tears and attempted escapes to the outdoor viewing gallery. It was frightening! At this point Mops had wandered out on to the outdoor viewing terrace.

I was then blessed with a random act of kindness from a lovely family – a Nan and Grandad with their grandson.

The Nan went to get Mops from the outdoor viewing terrace which left me able to deal with Bam knowing Mops was safe.

I managed to get Bam back down the stairs…it wasn’t pretty. Most of the stairs were ladders, I had a skirt on and protecting my dignity wasn’t top of mind! My bag then fell open and my mobile phone fell to the floor. The lovely grandad of the fore mentioned family picked up my phone – no cracked screen!

We made it down, all 3 of us safe and sound. I explained to the Nan that Bam has ADHD and thanked her for her help. She said ‘well you handled that really well and remained calm in a scary situation’ then she grabbed my arms in a friendly, well done type of way!

Her kindness brought a tear to my eye. I can’t tell you how much difference it makes to have kind and helpful people around you. I actually came away from the situation feeling positive rather than sad and judged!

Thank you lovely family…I saw this quote this morning ‘A simple act of kindness can make a tremendous impact on somebody’s day’

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You didn’t glance back?

Dearest Bam,

I know you didn’t glance back today after I kissed you goodbye. Why would you? You were full to the brim with excitement for your residential trip with the school. Chatting to your mates about Pokémon cards and which activities you were going to do. I heard you say ‘I’m going to do everything!’

I also heard you tell everybody that you had only had an hour’s sleep last night. Yes, that’s true, every hour waking me up to tell me the time and how many hours there were left until you head off on your adventure. I tried to calm you down but nothing worked. By 4.30am, I gave up and suggested you watched TV. Self preservation for sleep was beginning to kick in!

This morning you literally bounced around the house, causing great excitement in your brother too. I was silently wishing the time away, I was tired and a little sad that you were heading off on your own.

However, your enthusiasm for life makes me smile. I know you will put everything you have into enjoying your time outside climbing, swimming etc and return home absolutely exhausted at the end of the week.

I’m pleased that you go without a care in the world. I’m pleased I have done all the worrying for you. I’ve met with the teacher about your special needs – we discussed your medication and your specific requirements. I’ve googled how far away the hospital is just in case you have a seizure. I’ve worried about the fact you’ll be kayaking in the sea and I’ve worried that you won’t eat at lunchtime because of your ADHD medication. (The lovely teacher is taking some breakfast biscuits for you to munch on should you get peckish)

Off you go precious boy, have a blast! I’ll never stop worrying about you although I am looking forward to some sleep tonight. Oh and thanks for the letting me give you a kiss goodbye, even though ‘that’s embarrassing!’

I’ll miss you…

Love Mum xxxx

 

 

Juggling act

I’m no circus performer but any parent will be an expert at juggling. Raising kids, running a house, working, a social life and ‘me’ time. Oh and then there’s the washing, this is actually a part time job in itself – where on earth does it all come from?!

Unfortunately planning a social life and ‘me’ time tends to be put to the bottom of the pile. Who has time to plan a social life and as for ‘me’ time well that’s normally 9pm to 10pm catching up on the days events on facebook or maybe a bit of TV.

I love my job and I love my kids but juggling the two and ‘life’ can and does have it challenges, particularly when the two cross over as it did for me just before Christmas.

Picture the scene….I’m wandering around the lake on my day off from work with my lovely friend, her two boys, my two boys and her dog. The boys were running, enjoying the freedom and the dog was joining in the fun.

The dog then spotted a rubber ball in the stream that somebody had left there.  One of the boys grabbed it out of the stream and started throwing the ball for the very excited dog. There were lots of giggles and shouting…cue my mobile ringing…a work call. I quickly say to my friend ‘it’s a work call, I just need to get this’.

I’m chatting to my colleague, the giggling and shouting still around me. Without warning, I suddenly have this hard bang to the back of my head! Mops had thrown the ball for the dog and it had hit me on the head….really hard….in fact it was eye wateringly hard. In a stunned state I calmly let my colleague know that I have been hit on the head by a ball, just to cover for my short delay in responding. In normal circumstances I would have let out a little bit of a scream or an ouch but something inside me allows me to remain professional or may be I was still in a stunned state!

My friend at this point is chuckling away…but I’m determined, I can remain professional. I complete the call. We both have a chuckle…..my hair is dishevelled, with a splattering of mud and stream water – a small reminder of how glamorous motherhood can be!

So keeping all of the juggling balls of life in the air has its challenges but its ok if we drop one every now and then…well as long as it doesn’t whack you on the back of the head!

This post is dedicated to my lovely, lovely, friend – thanks for always being there xxx