Going away..

When Bam asked if he could go on the school residential the response in my head was ‘no way are you ever leaving Mum, ever’ What I actually said was ‘well, let’s look into it’ So that’s what we did. We spoke to the school about whether they would be happy to manage Bam’s epilepsy and ADHD while he was away, they were, so we booked him in.

This was several months ago, lots of time for me to get used to the idea…but I never really got used to the idea. Three days of somebody else caring for him, making sure he is safe and happy and making sure that he has taken his medication. Eeek! Before I knew it I was squashing clothes in his case ready to go away!

On the morning of departure, I found myself standing in the school hall, suitcase left outside for loading on to the coach and my boy excitedly chatting to all of his mates in the hall with not so much as a glance in my direction. Me full of worry and apprehension but trying to keep it well hidden!

When the time came to say goodbye, he ran over and gave me a hug and just said ‘bye’. ‘Bye’ yes that was it! I was then thrown into the dilemma of whether to wait to see him off on the coach. Other Mums were gathering outside to wave them off. After my simple ‘bye’ I didn’t think he would be too bothered whether I stayed or not but I just had to! I needed that one last opportunity to say ‘bye’. He came out to get on the coach and gave me a passing glance. Ooops, maybe I shouldn’t have stayed. Oh well. I’m here now.

I’m scanning the coach for his face, nope, nowhere to be seen – he must be the other side of the coach. I hastily make my way to the pedestrian crossing, the coach engine starts…ah, come on green man, give Mum a break. I quickly cross the road and find him on the other side. So I start waving. He waves enthusiastically back. He’s mouthing ‘I love you’ through the window and blowing kisses. Ok, sunglasses are firmly on as tears are on their way! Glad I stayed, glad I captured those kisses blown from my boy! Have fun darling boy, I’m so proud that you are confident and happy to go away on your own but I’ll miss you more than you’ll ever know. Friday please come quickly!

Oh and just for the record Mops said ‘I think it’s ok to have a brother sometimes’ That’s his way of saying he misses you too xxx